Holy crap! I remembered my password!

We're working on it...

So last night I spent an amazing night talking with Tyler.  I miss his friendship and understanding.  We finally got a lot of things out on the table and it really made me realize how much we have in common, but at the same time, how much we are different from how we viewed each other.  He really is more like one of my best friends, and it's a shame that our friendship developed into what it did.  I also found out that Meghan decided that I am one of the things he needs to work on or change in his life before they would ever get back together.  Hmm... yea, let's talk about how someone could be THAT rude.  Maybe if she would have pulled her head out of her ass once in a while, she would have realized that our friendship was of no threat to her. Meh, oh well,  none of my concern anymore.

So, I've been working myself nearly to death. Next week I"m scheduled for 80 hours.  I don't know how I'm going to do it.  I'm so tired of trying to be responsible and disciplined about saving my money and being my best.  There's a big part of me that just wants to give up on my dreams because they aren't really anything that I have any backing on.  Everything I have laid out for myself goal-wise, I have no help or support on.  My dreams aren't even all that clear because I've always been afraid of setting big goals because I might not reach them.  So instead I bury myself in things that aren't going to help me anyway, that way I dont have to think about my goals.

I really want to start doing things that better other people.  I want people to look at me and think wow, she really has her stuff together.  I don't know how people view me now, but I don't feel like I'm really making that big of a difference. In high school, I ruled the world.  I was involved in everything and I actually felt like my life was serving a purpose. Now, I feel like I'm useless.  Maybe sometime soon I'll find a little purpose....

Well, time to get ready for work.  Nothing else in my life sucks my soul out like work.

Update?

Well... I just recovered from the flu.  I have realized what allergy season is really all about; making Danielle's life miserable.

Weather is getting nicer and nicer.  It's supposed to be upto 78 today, which is nice. 

Been kinda in the dumps lately.  Life is getting better, and I'm doing pretty well in my classes as far as I know.  Litertaure might kick me in several unpleasant places... but that happens.

Must eat.

I'm in Texas.  Til May.

Just thought ya'll should know.

Oh, and don't go to UNT.  Ever.  BG is way better an the people who work administration aren't nearly as big of dumbasses as they are here.

Random post

It's almost been 4 1/2 years, and still seems like yesterday.  Nothing has changed besides the physical nature.  I'm still dealing with this all.  How long is the average grieving period?  Am I insane for just now being really sensitive to it?  Or maybe its just the fact that I've hidden in my faith so deep that I forgot there was a person inside that had a whole lot of crap to deal with.  Oh yea, it's probably that one.

Between the stress and the total ripage of my heart into a million pieces has kind of cracked my shell a little and let that old person come out.  *stretch*  No wonder I'm so exhausted. 

I don't know.  times have been troubling.  I'm very frustrated in my art.  With dealing with all this, I've really been upset that I haven't found an idea for a piece about my mom.  I really REALLY want to make a piece for her, but I just don't know how I would ever convey all of the feelings I have about the subject.  It frustrates me.

Ugh, my hands hurt.  I cut them on a tape dispenser.  Yea, my life is pretty pathetic I know.  Well, maybe not my life, but my motor skills are definately waving bye-bye.